


Predilection

by SymbioticAntithesis



Series: this scar remain reflected [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, FTM, Full Shift Werewolves, M/M, Mates, Scent Marking, Trans!Stiles, Transgender, Transsexual, ftm!Stiles, full wolf transformation, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 20:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2361197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymbioticAntithesis/pseuds/SymbioticAntithesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment Derek scented Stiles he knew Stiles was different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Predilection

**Author's Note:**

> Completely un-beta'd, so any mistakes are mine.
> 
> I know that some people don't like reading the same story from a different POV but . . . I'm hoping that this will enrich the 'verse I've created instead of degrade it. And, well, Derek's POV also helps set the stage for the villain and plot for the potential sequel.

The moment Derek scented Stiles he knew Stiles was different.  It was neither in a good way or bad way – just . . . different.  He was in Laura’s office, trying to persuade her to loan him the Camaro when Stiles walked in.  The first wave that hit him was of surprise and intrigue, then a sudden burst of lust – something he had grudgingly grown accustomed to over the years – but then, the last scent was embarrassment and resignation.  Otherwise, Stiles smelled like lavender and vanilla, a mild sweetness that didn’t overwhelm.  There were some bitter notes of medication, but not enough to distract, and a very faint sharpness of spice.  Something else, though, held his attention: an underlying softness to Stiles’ scent. It was subtle, barely noticeable, and it was something he’s only encountered a handful of times.

Laura caved soon after Stiles’ entrance and conceded the car keys, but while he was leaving her office he couldn’t help but look over his shoulder and attempt a joke.  Not only was it at Laura’s expense, but also to see Stiles crack a small smile, to see his shoulders relax, and to catch a tendril of his amusement.

He’d have to ask Laura about Stiles later tonight.  Besides, she probably already knew that he’d just found a potential mate.  He couldn’t hide something like that from his Alpha.

^

As predicted, Laura wasn’t surprised.

“He’d be good for you,” she said.

Derek raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “You barely know him.”

“True,” she agreed. “But I know enough, and I know _you_.”

He pursed his lips and looked away, his brow furrowed.  “I’d prefer if you didn’t interfere.”  Laura was always a meddler, even as kids.  Though in hindsight, the one time he could’ve used her nosiness was also the only time she’d left him alone.  A small part of him resented the fact that she hadn’t noticed, hadn’t _asked_ , when he had cut himself off from the pack.  If she had noticed, if she had said something . . . then Kate wouldn’t have happened and their family would still be alive. He couldn’t fault her for that though, and he knew that, but it was still a mild issue of contention between them.

And Derek also couldn’t begrudge her desire to see him happy.  He’d been pushing people away since the fire, punishing himself for his stupid mistake and Laura had always been there for him with an unnecessary amount of sympathy and forgiveness.  She _shouldn’t_ forgive him; he didn’t deserve it.

Yet she did.

Ever since Kate, there were no secrets between them, but this, this potential mate business, has been and always will be personal and private.  They had agreed on that a long time ago.  Anything they told each other about their mates was always given willingly.

“I won’t,” she said, sounding a bit affronted.  “I wouldn’t.”

“Sorry,” he sighed, turning back to lock gazes with her.  “I know you wouldn’t.”

Silence reigned for several moments as their respective emotions simmered in the air between them. Then Laura finally spoke.

“You’d be good for each other,” she said, amending her previous comment.

Derek didn’t answer.

^

Derek and Laura were in the library when he scented him again.  He’d catch a whiff of him every once in a while when he was on campus, and he had lingered in Laura’s office several times just to see Stiles again, but his wolf yearned for more and it was getting harder to ignore.

Laura noticed and said in hushed tones, “You could at least say ‘hi’ to him.”

Derek huffed, shelving a book. “I could.”

“But?” she prodded.

Derek looked at her and gave her a minute shake of his head.  He wasn’t ready yet.  He _couldn’t_.

“He’s your potential mate, Derek,” she admonished.  “Do yourself – and Stiles – a favor and get to know him.”  Derek frowned and didn’t answer.  Getting to know someone was daunting in itself – Derek wasn’t the type to open up to just anyone – but this was _Stiles_ , his possible life partner.  If he were to get to know Stiles, it meant that he’d have to reciprocate and reveal things about himself he’s buried for years.  “Please?”

“I thought you weren’t going to meddle,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not,” she sniffed, her tone a bit haughty, a tiny smirk tugging at her lips.  “But I stand by what I said before.”

He looked down the aisle and saw Stiles at the end of the row, a startled look on his face and the heady odor of arousal and embarrassment wafted towards him.  Stiles gave them an awkward wave before scurrying away, and Derek tracked his departure, every instinct in him screaming at him to follow Stiles.

Derek turned back to Laura, her eyes soft and understanding.  “Attraction is just the beginning,” she said.  “Give him the benefit of the doubt.”

^

He hated it when Laura was right. It made her preen and brag and it annoyed him so much.

Because, well, _she was right_.  About Stiles.

He finally gave in to his wolf and approached Stiles at the coffee shop the human frequented. Their conversation flowed, Stiles was witty and sarcastic and _honest_ and Derek loved it.  He had known for a while that the mate he chose would have to be able to deal with his occasional cruelty and cynicism with aplomb, and Derek was pleasantly surprised when Stiles gave as good as he got.

It was impressive.

Laura was pleased and not at all angry – though she made a valiant attempt to pretend she was – when Derek came back with Stiles in tow two hours late with her coffee. She had given him a look that said _everything_ and though he’d never admit it aloud, he was glad that Laura approved.  Of his choices and of Stiles.

A few days later, Derek again scented Stiles in the library and he was on edge for the second half of his shift. His wolf craved to get closer to Stiles, to court him properly, but Derek squashed his desire, ruthless and unforgiving. Kali noticed his distraction and when a starry-eyed girl asked for assistance, Kali volunteered him to show her the sections she was looking for.  Derek glared at the Alpha, annoyed, but Kali ignored him and sent him anyway even though his shift just ended.  Kali may not be his Alpha, but he still had to show respect since she was allowing him and Laura into her territory.  But it also didn’t mean he had to take her playful harassment lying down.

Stiles’ scent grew stronger when he got to the second floor, and his wolf was clawing at his restraint, desperate and wild at the proximity of their mate.  He managed to suppress his instinct long enough to shake the girl attempting to impress him and finally – _finally_ – made his way to Stiles.  The younger man grinned at him, amused, while the familiar aroma of intrigue and desire wafted towards him.

And Derek decided to test him, _prod_ him, and mentioned that he wasn’t interested in people who only wanted him for his looks. Derek _knew_ he was good looking – it was hard not to acknowledge it when both men and women fawned over him – but it didn’t mean he had to like it. Most of the time it was easy to weed out the superficial ones, though he never progressed past half-hearted flirting. Then he did something that surprised even him: he let Stiles know that he knew Stiles was attracted to him, giving Stiles an opportunity to deny or confirm.

When Stiles’ heart skipped a beat, shock and confusion permeating the air with tendrils of hope, which disappeared in an instant and was replaced by doubt and an underlying hint of self-depreciation, Derek knew.  He knew that Stiles was like him.

A little bit broken, wary of letting anyone in.  That thought in itself made Derek more amiable to the idea of getting to know Stiles, because if they both had walls erected around their hearts then allowing someone in would not only be a huge show in trust, but an incredible honor.

Stiles was different; he knew it the moment he stepped into Laura’s office and Stiles deserved more than just blithe consideration.  Stiles was . . . he didn’t know yet, but a large part of him wanted to give Stiles a chance. Give _them_ a chance.

Then Stiles put his hand in Derek’s and it was like a punch in the gut.  Derek noticed Stiles’ shiver and sudden intake of breath and he knew Stiles felt the same spike of adrenaline rush through his body.  He wasn’t the only one that felt the connection, and that made fear and uncertainty take root in his heart, despite everything.

As they walked toward the coffee shop in guarded silence, Derek sorted through his misgivings and hesitance. Stiles reeked of despair and reluctance and resignation and the same sort of fear that he recognized within himself.

“You know I’m a trans man, right?” Stiles blurted almost as soon as they were seated.  Derek blinked, surprised.

“I do,” he said, hesitant. Derek had dug into his memories after he and Laura saw Stiles a few days ago; he’d locked away everything that had to do with Beacon Hills when he and Laura had moved away and started anew. Laura even _encouraged_ him, and he remembered.  He remembered Stiles from before, before Kate and the fire and his life and family burned to ash.  Stiles had intrigued Derek even back then, when he was still a she. He remembered seeing her on the playground, shrouded in sadness, distress, and confusion.  She seemed happy, smiling, her outward appearance giving nothing away, but Derek’s wolf told him otherwise.  She didn’t smell right, either.  Something was . . . off.  Some sort of hormonal imbalance he couldn’t quite place.  Now in hindsight, Derek supposed what was _off_ about Stiles was that _she_ was meant to be a _he._ Stiles smelled normal now with only a mild hint of the bitterness the testosterone injections gave his overall scent. And though Derek still barely knew Stiles, he was proud of him.

Proud because Stiles decided to embrace his differences despite the difficulty of his choice.

And the more Derek spent in his presence, the more he wanted to _know_ Stiles.  There was much more depth to Stiles than Derek first anticipated, and though the thought of opening himself again to potential heartbreak and betrayal frightened him, maybe Stiles would be the one to prove him wrong and to show Derek that he could trust once more.

Maybe this time instead of having his weaknesses exploited and scrutinized, they’d be soothed and accepted. Because Stiles had his own scars, he knew, and if Stiles was willing to risk them torn open then Derek would do no less.

^

The next few months were both agonizing and exhilarating.  He learned more about Stiles, his quirks and idiosyncrasies.  How he had a wealth of random knowledge.  How he liked to burst out into song at random intervals, and sometimes off-key on purpose.  How he could ramble on and on about a subject he was passionate about, and his eyes, his face, his _entire being_ would light up. How sometimes he just didn’t _shut up_.

He learned that Stiles took his coffee black, but when it was a particularly trying day he’d dump in three packets of sugar.  The first time Derek saw it happen, it made him cringe.  Stiles enjoyed B-list movies and campy television shows, had an eclectic taste in music, and adored dark chocolate truffles.  He liked burgers and curly fries and had a strange adversity to eggplants. 

“You seriously do not want to know that story,” he claimed.  “But aside from that, just think of the name, dude.  _Eggplant_. Who in the hell thought ‘Yes, good, I will call this vegetable “eggplant” and it will be magnificent’ when it doesn’t even look anything remotely like an egg?”

It was the first time in a long time where Derek laughed uncontrollably.  He didn’t even know _why_ it was so funny.  Stiles was smug for hours and Derek couldn’t find it in himself to care that he giggled for minutes over Stiles’ thoughts on a vegetable.

One of the most important things he learned about Stiles was that he was fiercely loyal. It eased his mind a little, knowing that once Stiles’ trust was earned, he’d have it forever.  Because whatever this was, if their friendship became more, Derek would have to trust Stiles with his own secrets about Kate and his wolf. 

Though he still had reservations in revealing any of that to Stiles any time soon.

Something else Derek liked about Stiles was that he was genuine.  There was no pretense.  The men and women he hooked up with over the years were shallow and meaningless. Most of the time Derek only wanted the release, but he felt dirty as soon it was done.  Stiles was different.  There was no feigning interest with Stiles; sure, the first few times he turned up the charm a little just to see what would happen – as much as he’d hate to admit, he was _good_ at false intrigue – but the flirting and the banter with Stiles felt natural, like it was second nature.

At first, Stiles’ reaction to Derek’s flirting had been subdued, like he hadn’t _wanted_ to be attracted, to be interested, and wasn’t sure if it was even real. And that was a first for Derek. It told him that Stiles likely had just as many reservations about relationships as he did. Now, though Derek knew without a shadow of a doubt that Stiles was much more invested – and not just physically – Stiles still had an aura of resignation.  Like he didn’t expect anything more, like he didn’t _believe_ he could have anything more, and for the first time, Derek wasn’t sure how to proceed with someone who had just as much self-doubt as he harbored within himself. 

^

Winter break was creeping up on them, and one of the first things Laura told him when he entered her office the last day of finals was that Stiles had been friends with an Argent the entire time they knew each other.  His blood ran cold and his heart stopped for a terrifying second before he willed himself to remember that despite the fact that Kate and Gerard were psychopaths who ignored the hunter code, Chris and Victoria had cut them out of their family once they discovered their crime.  It didn’t mean that Laura or Derek trusted them, but it did mean that the surviving Argents held no sympathy for those who wronged the innocent.

If his memory served, Allison was about Stiles’ age when the fire occurred.  As far as what he and Laura knew about hunter tradition, Allison was next in line to inherit the Argent mantle, groomed for leadership and diplomacy and trained for skilled combat.  How had he not known that there was a hunter in their midst?  Did Kali know?  Did Laura know this whole time but never told him?  He immediately dismissed the thought once it came; Laura would never do that to him, but Kali might.  Kali didn’t know the details of the Hale fire, but she wouldn’t have kept Allison a secret out of spite or cruelty, though perhaps out of ignorance.

“Does Kali know?” he ended up asking.

“I don’t know,” Laura replied. “Do you think she should know?”

Derek didn’t answer.

When Stiles texted him a week later about random kinds of mischief he got into as a kid, he almost forgot about the Argents.  But Laura dropped another bomb on him that shook him down to his very core.

“You _what_.”

“You know he would’ve done it anyway,” she said, defensive.

“ _Laura_ ,” he growled low in his throat.  “You had no right – ”

She flashed her eyes and bared her fangs.  “As your _sister_ ,” she stressed, squaring her shoulders and glaring at him, “I have every goddamn right.”

Derek scowled, but conceded. He knew Laura wouldn’t harm him – emotionally, physically, or otherwise – on purpose but just the thought of what Stiles was reading, _discovering_ about his past . . . about things he wasn’t ready to dig up and lay out in the open for scrutiny terrified him.  What would Stiles think? 

“When are you going to tell him about us?” Laura said, breaking through his thoughts.

Derek pursed his lips. “One revelation at a time, Laura,” he said, his voice cold.  Stiles knowing about Kate was one thing, but letting him in on the very secret that tore their family away was something very different.  As much as he wanted to trust Stiles, he was still hesitant. The only family he had left in the world was Laura, and he couldn’t risk putting her in danger regardless of mate. 

Laura sighed. “Fine.”  And the subject dropped.

Derek was sure the rest of the break would be spent ignoring Stiles’ texts despite his inherent desire for some sort of contact with the human and sulking at Laura, but life had other things in mind for them.

A few days after Christmas, Kali stumbled to their door soaked in blood, a huge gash across her abdomen.

“Deucalion,” she managed, before her legs gave out and she tipped forward in a faint.  Laura caught her before she hit the floor, and they exchanged shocked and worried looks. 

“What the hell.”

Laura hauled her across the room, careful of her wounds, as Derek closed and bolted the door. Not that it would’ve helped if Deucalion was behind Kali’s injuries.  Laura lifted Kali and gently placed her on the couch.  Derek retrieved a bowl from the kitchen and filled it with water, passing it and a towel to Laura so she could clean Kali up. He grabbed another towel to wipe the blood off the floor.

The cut looked deep, like Deucalion intended to kill, and Derek felt an uneasy shiver creep down his spine. He and Laura had met most of Kali’s pack when they first arrived in Berkley; it was protocol when new werewolves entered an already established territory with a prominent Alpha, and because Laura was also Alpha, Kali and Laura had to agree on hierarchy to ensure no complications or power struggles would arise during their stay.

Kali was Alpha and Deucalion was her second-in-command, a strong and ambitious beta.  Ethan and Aiden, twins, were third and fourth in the pack. There were several other betas, but Kali had deemed it unnecessary for Laura and Derek to meet them all in person. Their scents were enough.

This was Kali and her pack’s territory; Laura and Derek were guests, albeit welcome guests.

“How long?” he asked after throwing the blood soaked rag in the trash.

Laura sighed, “With wounds like these, she’ll need a couple of days at least.”

He nodded. “Wards?”

“Please.”

Derek left the main room and headed to their storage closet.  It was going to be a long wait.

^ 

Kali woke on the third day almost completely healed but weak and pale.  Her stomach was red and sensitive, but she managed to sit up and lean against the arm of the couch.

“I apologize.”

“What happened?” Derek asked without preamble, and Laura shot him a glare.  He ignored her.

Kali let out a weak chuckle. “No, it’s all right. You deserve to know, especially after my intrusion.”  She sighed and shifted a little, wincing as her movements pulled on her still healing muscles. “Deucalion was no longer content with being a beta, though admittedly a powerful beta.  He wanted more.”

Laura sucked in a startled breath. “He tried to kill you?”

Kali nodded, “I’ve heard rumors that when an Alpha kills its own betas, they absorb their strength. He tried to convince me to kill my pack,” she shook her head in disbelief.  “My own pack, my _family_. I refused.  He knew I would, so he attacked.  We fought, but he was much stronger than I anticipated. Turns out, he already killed Ethan and Aiden.” She bit her lip and wrapped an arm around her tender stomach.  “I can only assume that the rules of an Alpha killing their betas also translates to betas killing betas in the same pack.”  She took a shaky breath.  “I managed to knock him unconscious, but I couldn’t finish him off.  I didn’t – ”  She closed her eyes.  “If I did, I feared I would get addicted to the power rush and do exactly what I refused to do in the first place.  So I came here. Because – ”

“We’re not pack,” Derek finished.

Kali nodded, a sad smile on her lips. “Yes.” 

“Okay,” Laura said with false calm. She was hiding her shock well, but Derek knew otherwise.  He could smell, _feel_ her fear. It mirrored his own. “Where’s Deucalion now?”

“I don’t know,” she said, apologetic.  “I can’t scent or sense him anywhere in my territory.  I can only assume that he’ll search for a weaker Alpha to overthrow then kill their pack to gain their powers.”

“Jesus,” Laura swore.

Kali let out a humorless laugh, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe not, but he was my beta.”

They fell silent, understanding and regret filling the room.  It _wasn’t_ Kali’s fault, but when a beta went rogue it was a mark on the Alpha’s prestige and credibility. The implications of Kali’s weakness were tenfold, since Deucalion managed to kill two of her betas, too, before fleeing. 

“What can we do to help?” Derek asked.

“I don’t expect you to – ”

“Kali,” Laura interrupted. “We’re not officially pack, but we can’t leave you in this mess when we are willing and capable of helping you. And Deucalion should pay for what he’s done.”

She was silent for a moment as she considered Laura’s offer before she conceded.  “Contact the rest of my pack, tell them what’s happened. And if it’s not too much trouble,” she gave them a weak smile.  “If I could stay here for a few more days?”

“Of course,” Laura said.

Kali let out another shaky breath. “Thank you.”

^

Laura managed to get in touch with the three other betas in Kali’s pack.  They agreed to lay low and keep an eye out for Deucalion. Tension and uncertainty hung in the air for the following days, dense and suffocating.  A rogue omega was one thing, but Deucalion was seeking Alpha status and that would put all wolf packs, even the hunters, in incredible danger.

“I’m going to tell Stiles,” Laura said a few days after new years.  Kali had returned to her pack to regroup and to assess their next move. Laura and Derek were waiting for Kali’s verdict.

He looked over to her, confused. “What?”  Derek wasn’t sure what Laura was getting at, starting this conversation.

“At least about wolves,” she said.

Derek frowned, “Why?”

“We need all the allies we can get, Derek,” she said, her voice heavy with exhaustion and worry. “I also told Kali about Allison – ”

“ _What,_ ” he said with a bit more force than necessary.  “You’re going to ally with the _Argents_?”

“They’re the only hunters I know in the area – ”

“And you’re going to _trust_ them?”

“ _No_ ,” she hissed, her eyes flashing red.  “I don’t trust them at all.  But they at least need to know that this _wasn’t our fault_.”

He scowled and acquiesced. Laura was right. Of course she was right; she was Alpha for a reason.  Diplomacy and level-headedness was definitely not his strong suit, and he didn’t begrudge Laura the difficulty of her decisions in their current situation.  “Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I just hope it won’t come down to a confrontation.”

Derek snorted. “We’re wolves, Laura. It rarely ends any other way.”

She sighed, and gave him a grim smile.  “Yeah. I know.”

“Stiles would be in danger if he’s associated with us, especially now,” he said after a beat of silence.

Laura eyed him, her expression inscrutable and her scent gave nothing away.  “Let him make his own choices, Derek.  I think he’ll surprise even you.”

“He has been,” he admitted, and Laura smiled a full, genuine smile.

“Good.”

When spring semester started, Derek made himself scarce.  He knew Stiles would be looking for him and that Laura was going to tell him about their wolves, and he really didn’t want to deal with the repercussions, especially if they were negative.  Laura texted him later in the day that Stiles would find him when he was ready to talk. It didn’t make him feel any better or relaxed.  If anything, it made him anxious.

A week passed and Stiles arrived at the library looking determined, and Derek couldn’t help but let out a relieved breath.  He drank in Stiles’ scent, allowed his eyes rove over his body, and let himself stare a little in awe.  Stiles was here despite everything he knew about him; Derek shouldn’t be so surprised, though, because he knew Stiles was steadfast in his loyalty.  But the thing was, Derek was never given that kind of devotion from anybody but family.  He wasn’t used to it.

The first thing Stiles said to him was definitely something he wasn’t expecting.  _Frontotemporal dementia_. This wasn’t something Stiles would tell anyone, and Derek realized that Stiles was telling him because . . . because he felt guilty for invading his privacy.  He couldn’t help but smile a little at the gesture. It also made his heart swell both with affection and doubt.  Stiles was opening up to him, and Derek . . . Derek felt like he didn’t deserve it.

“So we’re good?” he asked, leaning in towards Derek, his heart skipping beats.  “Still friends?”

Derek let his smile widen; he wanted so much more than friendship from Stiles, and he knew Stiles wanted the same, but he _couldn’t_. “We’re good.”  Stiles could do better than him and, well, he’ll never forgive himself if Stiles gets hurt because of his nature.  Deucalion was still out there and he couldn’t lose another person he loved.

He shivered. Yeah, he was in love with Stiles. Completely and stupidly in love, and he’ll do anything in his power to protect him, even if it’s from himself.

^

As he had told Laura, Stiles surprises him in more ways than one.  When he asked to see his wolf, Derek was so shocked that he stared at him for an entire minute, stupefied.  Derek shook himself out of his stupor and retreated to his room to strip before shifting into his wolf. He padded out into the main room, cautious, and once Stiles set eyes on him his heartbeat stuttered but not in fear. 

“Jesus, you’re gorgeous,” he blurted, then promptly blushed in embarrassment.  His wolf preened at Stiles’ compliment and Derek gave Stiles a tentative wag of his tail and moved forward, nudging his muzzle under Stiles’ hand. Stiles started to stroke his fingers through his fur, and he growled in happiness.  “You’re like an overgrown puppy,” he said, amusement in his voice.

Derek snorted and shook his head, giving Stiles his best glare.  He grinned and scratched behind Derek’s ear.  Derek leaned into Stiles, letting himself melt into the human’s side. He knew at that moment, that he made his decision.  Stiles was his mate and there would be no other.  He wasn’t afraid of Derek’s wolf, even expressed wonder.  His amazement was rolling off him in waves, and Derek couldn’t get enough. It made him feel _worthy_.

After that first time, Derek spent more time as a wolf around Stiles.  It wasn’t only because he could show affection without it being too awkward, but also because his senses were heightened in this form. As a wolf, it was easier for Derek hear the staccato beat of Stiles’ heart and more importantly, to sift through all the layers of Stiles’ scent.  Laura (and Talia before her) had taught him that not only did every person have a distinct aroma – almost like a fingerprint – but if you took the time to pick apart the intricacies of each person’s scent, it could be as telling as if you experienced that person’s life firsthand.  It was a terrifying idea, and Derek only ever did it once with Laura at her insistence to practice harnessing his abilities.

When he was with Stiles in wolf form, though, it was difficult to resist.  Derek only ever allowed himself to skim the surface of Stiles’ emotions. What he found was both surprising and not surprising at all.  Stiles was just as in love with him as Derek was with Stiles.  It was almost horrifying, almost enough for Derek to want to tuck tail and run.  But Stiles was like coming home, and he hadn’t felt anything like it since his family was still alive.  He didn’t want to let it go.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Laura asked one day, exasperated.

He didn’t answer.

“Y’know, you have to remember that you’re not the only one you’re hurting in this situation.”

Derek growled, “ _I know_.”

“Sure you do,” she said, her tone dry.  “If you don’t tell him soon, I will.  Don’t think I won’t.”

He snarled and she bared her teeth in retaliation.  “I know I promised not to interfere, but this is getting _ridiculous_. You know how he feels about you, yet you want to torture yourself – both of you, really – by not _telling him_.”

“ _I can’t_ ,” he stressed.  “Deucalion – ”

“Dropped off the radar for now. And you know as well as I do that even if you don’t claim him as your mate, he’s in just as much danger being friends with us.”  Derek scowled, knowing she was right.  “Having a human we can trust in our pack wouldn’t hurt either.”

Derek pursed his lips, “I know.”

Laura let out a long-suffering sigh. “You have until after my conference in San Diego.  If you haven’t told him by then, I swear I’ll do it myself.”

“That’s not fair,” he said, petulant.  “That’s only two weeks away.”  There wasn’t any use arguing with her, though.  Just like him, she was stubborn as hell.  It was probably a family trait. 

“Well then you better get your ass in gear,” she retorted.

^

The big revelation was due in part by Laura’s threat but largely because Derek didn’t want to _not_ feel Stiles sleeping next to him ever again. Stiles was comfort and happiness and acceptance and _home_ and **_love_**. He kissed like it was the best thing that’s ever happened to him, like he wanted to carve a place for himself within Derek’s heart and stay there forever.

And for the first time, Derek wanted to be selfish and _never let this feeling go_. 

“What do you know about mates?” he asked, before they got carried away.

“Mates?” he said, dazed. Derek watched as the fog cleared and Stiles’ mind shifted back into gear.  “ _Mates_?  Like _predestined_ for each other?” he asked, despair rolling off him in waves. “You can’t help yourself?”

Jesus, he knew he’d screw this up. “No, you misunderstand,” he said, gripping Stiles tighter and tugging him into his chest.  He couldn't deny that it _felt_ like something was pulling them together, like they melded so well that it was almost unnatural; it was part of the reason why he waited so damn long. It’s not just because he wanted to ensure Stiles wasn’t just interested in him for his looks, or that he was terrified of what they could be, or because of Deucalion and the danger looming over them like a storm cloud . . . but he also needed to know that their relationship wasn’t contrived.  Laura had denied the possibility when he asked, said that Talia had chosen Liam on her own volition, but Derek was still skeptical. 

But after everything they’ve been through . . . Derek wanted to believe that they were real. They had to be.

“Wolves choose their mates. And I choose you.”

And that was it. Derek knew Stiles was different the moment he scented him.  He didn’t know how or why at the time but . . . he think he did now.  They were both a little bit broken, both with scars etched on their souls, but he supposed that their scars reflected in each other. It’s probably why Derek was so drawn to Stiles in the first place.  Not just because he was a potential mate, but because they were _equal_.

Stiles was different. Stiles would always be different. And Derek wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
